Favourite Pratchett Quotes !

Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead.- Rincewind, The Light Fantastic

They both savoured the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were only ignorant of ordinary things. – Equal Rites

He did of course sometimes have people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the overhelming majority of citizens. [footnote: The overhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit] – Sourcery

It became apparent that one reason why the Ice Giants were known as the Ice Giants was because they were, well, giants. The other was that they were made of ice.- Sourcery

People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, “Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else.” – Carrot’s voyage to Ankh-Morpork in Guards! Guards!

A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn’t really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.- Guards! Guards!

I think that sick people in Ankh-Morpork generally go to a vet. It’s generally a better bet. There’s more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say “it was god’s will” when granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. – Terry Pratchett

There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.- Terry Pratchett

Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad. – Rincewind, “Interesting Times”

I like the idea of democracy. You have to have someone everyone distrusts. That way, everyone’s happy. – Brutha, Small Gods

Just because it’s not nice doesn’t mean it’s not miraculous.- Terry Pratchett

Thunder rolled. … It rolled a six.- Guards! Guards!

The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known even to Corporal Nobbs. It’s also wrong. There’s a fifth element, and generally it’s called Surprise.– (Terry Pratchett, The Truth)

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.- Terry Pratchett, The Truth

Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards.- Home Pragmatics (Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad)

The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his.- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)


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