A huge controversy has broken out about the Commonwealth Games. This time the question that is troubling everyone is — who should preside over the opening ceremony?
This is really amazing. For four years we plan this event. For weeks we lambast it and abuse the people involved because they have made such a mess of it. Corporate sponsors are scampering away with their tails tucked in, so as to not be associated too closely with the corruption ridden event. And yet, we have people actually fighting to preside over the event.
I would have thought that we would have had to pay large bribes or kidnap the young ones of prospective chief guests, to get them to preside over the competition.
Be that as may, here is the list of top contenders.
• President Pratibha Patil – As the leader of the nation that orchestrated this most fun-filled and ridiculous version of the august completion, she has prime rights to preside over the opening ceremony.
• Prince Charles – In the absence of Queen Elizabeth II, Charlie, the heir-to-the-throne, has expressed his intent to preside over the games. Look at it from his point of view. The poor chap has been waiting for such a long time for the Queen to abdicate, retire or just die. None of this has happened in so many years. The Commonwealth games may be the poor dear’s one big moment in the sun. No wonder he is not taking kindly to people trying to elbow him out of ithe opportunity.
• Nathu Ram – Nathu Ram, a daily wage labourer, has also put forward his name as most suited to preside over the event. His claim to fame is that he has so far caught 14 dogs and 4 snakes within the Commonwealth games village. He reasons that he should get precedence over the other two because in the likely event of a snake or a dog popping up in the middle of the competition, he is the only one who would be able to tackle the situation with aplomb.
At the time of going to press, it seems a compromise had been reached. The Deccan Herald reports
Prince Charles will declare the Games open while the President will say “let the Games begin”.
(It is assumed that Nathu Ram will stand in the background and catch dogs and snakes!)
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