Here is a quick way of checking if you are even remotely important in the scheme of things in India. It’s a simple test. Just one question is all that it takes.
Have you appealed for peace and calm in the aftermath of the Ayodhya verdict?
If you have, then you are right up there on the list of important people.
If, on the other hand, you have not, then your name is less than mud and I should probably feel insulted that my blog post is being read by someone of your ilk.
At last count — and I am sure loads of entries must have already been added to the list by now – there were simply millions of people who had gone on record, ‘appealing for peace.’ Some of the more important personages who had made the appeal are listed below.
READ REPORT :- http://bit.ly/PeaceAppeal
• Prime Minister Dr. Manmohan Singh (Seriously, can anyone imagine the timid chap asking for anything other than peace? Not that he is going to get any, while Sonia Gandhi et al are running circles around him.)
• Sonia Gandhi. Her PA briefed her that this was the right thing to do.
• L.K.Advani has asked colleagues to “exercise caution, and maintain calm.” I am, however, not very sure about the punctuation here. Maybe he meant ‘exercise, caution and maintain calm.’ What with the absence of Rath Yatras, I hear most of his colleagues are in bad shape and a little bit of exercise would help them a lot.
• Shiv Sena executive president Uddhav Thackeray has appealed for peace. Word has it that he had to buy a lot of Marathi dictionaries so that he could distribute it among his workers, to help them grasp this alien concept of “peace.”
• West Bengal Chief Minister Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee. In fact he has gone so far as to suggest that he will call a state-wide strike in case people don’t maintain peace.
• Trinamool chief Mamta Bannerjee is confused since she too would have liked to appeal for peace but now that Buddhadeb Babu has already made the appeal she does not know what to do. She has settled for calling a strike to protest Buddhadeb Babu’s threat to call a strike.
• My landlord. He does not know much about the issue but saw that it was the fashionable thing to do.
• My neighbourhood dog. Sheroo has little understanding of what this is all about but was besieged by television channel reporters. Apparently they mistook Sheroo’s idle barking for a call for ‘peace’ and ran non stop ‘exclusive’ reports about the canine’s appeal.
At the time of going to press a special unit of the Lucknow Crime Branch swooped down on Nathu Ram and arrested him while he was attending to his small tea stall. It seems he was arrested because he was the only person in the whole of UP who had not appealed for peace.
“Very suspicious,” a constable said.
If you are in the unenviable position of not having appealed to the masses to maintain peace and calm in the aftermath of the Ayodhya verdict, here is your last chance to redeem yourself. This is what you have to do. Quickly crack a joke about the Delhi Commomwealth games. This will help to prove that you are a true Indian and not totally dead to your responsibilities as a citizen of this best of all nations – India.