Did you just look at the Sun? That will be $2.45 please!

A Hot Bargain!

A Hot Bargain!

The Best Things in Life Are Free – the Sun, the Air, the Earth…

Hah, that’s what you thought.. till now. This might come as a nasty shock to all you folks, but I take it as my sacred duty to let you know that the Sun is no longer free. Yes, all you people who have been happily frolicking in the Sun with never a thought to the huge bill that you have been running up all the while, it’s true.

The next time you look at the bright yellow Sun you better be ready to shell out the green stuff.

Angeles Duran, a smart lady from Galicia – a sunny spot on the border with Spain and Portugal has come up with the idea of laying claim to the G2V star. ( that’s the scientific classification for the sun, based on its spectral and luminosity class! It really is. I make up lot of things but would never be able to make up something on this scale!)

The Daily Mail on Monday carried a story about how Duran says that the Sun officially belongs to her now, since she had the celestial body registered in her name at a local notary office.

READ REPORT : http://bit.ly/STUNdSUN

‘There was no snag, I backed my claim legally, I am not stupid, I know the law.” the story quotes her as saying.

I can’t imagine why she would think anyone would think her stupid. I mean she has just laid claims to a star whose mass is 743 times the total mass of all the planets in the solar system, and which has a radius that’s 109 times that of the Earth. If she takes it in her head to survey her possession she will take her about eight minutes to get to the Sun even if she travels at the speed of light. And Oh yes, it’s kind of hot – about 6,000°C at its outer visible layer. Does that sound remotely crazy?

In my opinion, she has struck the iron while it is hot. (6,000°C remember !) Smart woman. She saw opportunity and grabbed it with both hands. Moreover, Duran is not one of those folks who just buy up real estate on a whim and then wait for it to start generating revenue. She has definite plans. She wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the Sun. (This is the only time I am really grateful that my work requires me to work at night and an online copy of a famed British tabloid newspaper is the closest that I ever get to seeing Duran’s latest possession!)

But hey, don’t judge her yet. She is not in it for the money. In fact quite generously she has offered to the Spanish government, half of the proceeds that she gets from people looking at the Sun. If only she had been Irish … Ireland might not have had to go to the European Union for a €67.5 loan package!

Besides this, she plans to devote a tenth of her earnings from the Sun towards research. The report disappointingly does not say what the research is going to focus on. Possibly she wants some research done on coming up with more harebrained ideas for making money. (In which case I would like to warn her.. it’s a waste.. one cannot come up with a more loony idea .. even if one spends millions on research !)

Also very nobly, she has offered to donate another 10 percent of her earnings from the Sun to end world hunger. She might have her eye on the Sun, but has her feet firmly planted on Earth and is very much keyed-in to real problems. ( by real problems, I mean, World hunger, not something like figuring out how she is going to stop you from peeking at the Sun without coughing up the cash!)

For her own self, Duran wants to keep just a measly 10 percent of the proceeds she gets from people making use of the Sun. Touching. Sniff. Sniff. Such a nice person! I just hope she has a good paramedic at hand when she gets her next property tax notification.

And you know what; Duran might actually end up making some money off her idiocy. (Certainly more than what I am making from writing these insane posts!) She can always put the Sun up for auction on eBay. And for all you know someone out there might be crazy and rich enough to cough up some cash to own the Sun. What a bargain. I have it from a good source that this can definitely happen.

After all the list of things sold on eBay is not very impressive. Weird things sold on the Internet include:

#248619068: “The Meaning of Life” for … hold your breath $3.26

Item #2931457201: “Ghost In a Jar” for .. don’t be spooked … $90 million

Well, all luck to her. Meanwhile I will just try to enjoy a few more laughs before someone goes and registers “humour” as their exclusive possession.

P.S. And if you are thinking about going ahead and laying claim to other stars and planets. Desist. It’s already been done. I checked!

P.P.S. Post idea courtesy Divya Sharma.


One Comment

  1. Posted July 12, 2012 at 12:21 pm | Permalink | Reply

    Reblogged this on SaqibReports and commented:
    This post was written by me in 2010.

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